Friday, May 14, 2010


“Real Love Is A Pilgrimage. It Happens When There Is No Strategy, But It Is Very Rare Because Most People Are Strategists". Anita Brookner

These lines are not mine.. But the blog is. So read on….

I am going to put forward a theory that is a by product of my idle time where I had nothing else to do. This theory may not be as great as say… Theory of gravity or say theory of relativity. But hey… even theory of gravity was made by Newton when he was seating under an apple tree and that too idle. I was always fascinated by Newton who gave theory of gravity or say Einstein who gave theory of relativity. So always had an urge to give some kind of theory of my own. Since I could not do MSc and PhD in Physics (the world missed one brilliant scientist I must say), I have formulated my own theories on life, humans, phenomenon, behavior etc (easy topics on which even a junior college student can write a 20 marks essay). But in the process I do stumble upon some interesting facts or phenomenon which are so common yet so mind boggling. And such is one theory… The Peanut Theory.

Ok. To tell you frankly… One fine day I didn’t have much work in office… and I just made this hypothetically practical theory. PEANUT THEORY. I don’t know how much of it is hypothetical or how much is practical. But I personally believe that its 100% practical. Considering the fact that I have made this theory… I must get some benefit of doubt. Ha Ha .

Ok. The theory goes like this…


[Statuary Warning : I have very high regards for all woman and don’t consider any of them even a bit like peanuts, Cash nuts or for that matter NUTS]

According to The Peanut Theory… Beauty and qualification of a girl is directly proportional to their likelihood to end up marrying some rich guy, completely irrespective of how he treats her and whether he loves her or not.

Now ofcourse this utmost common phenomenon may sound so ridiculous to be made into a theory at all in the first place… and so I am sure that many of you would just be wanting to close this blog page to actually do something useful with your time…. Really?? How useful is facebook than actually being just a place for vanity fair?? So please do go ahead reading few more lines.

Now imagine girls to be like nuts. The smart ones will be almond. The beauty with brains will be cash nuts. The not so beautiful or not so qualified will be peanuts. When we take nuts into account… the best quality always gets exported to foreign shores so that the people with bigger pockets can have even bigger belly enjoying those nuts (and then actually waste major part of rest of the life in reducing that belly). The nuts which remain in the country are again sorted out. The rich will pay for the best quality and get the best and finally a poor chap with few coins in his pocket would end up paying Rs 2 for fist full of peanuts which he would buy from a roadside vendor, with a poor sense of hygiene and even poorer quality of peanuts. But then the poor chap would not even bother to think why he is liable to get only those peanuts?
Similar phenomenon with mangoes. The classic alphonso would get exported and the domestics market would get flooded with chemically ripened, fake alphosoes. Again a local poor chap will actually never get a pure alphoso in his lifetime even if the mango is being cultivated at the backyard compound of this house. But then he won’t question anything. Not even a single word woul be uttered about him not getting the mango. Because its so acceptable.

Now if you compare Indian girls to peanuts or mangoes... A very similar pattern is observed. Parents of a beautiful girl are so damn hooked on getting her married to a NRI. Even if there is a brilliant, smart, good natured dude in the same locality. Even the girl would be getting desperate to get hooked up with someone super rich, probably settled abroad. She would be trying all her means like the boon of virtual world, matrimonial portals. Chatting up with strangers to get selected, showcasing her fake inclination towards love, values and principles and sometimes even getting downright dirty just in case someone chooses her. She would start dating only guys who have even the slightest hint of flying away. And ofcourse… The rich guys do feast on these free lunches a lot. It does remind me of the great wilder beast migration and feast enjoyed by crocodiles when these huge numbers of wilder beast cross the rivers.

I don’t say that all this is not justified. It may be. I am not the judge. I am just a 25 year old guy with zero real time knowledge of world outside my country. May be crossing the river for greener pastures is really worth.

But then I really don’t get the obsession of getting settled abroad. The mindset which our society has created just doesn’t appeal to me. For example, a recent television commercial of Tanishq Jewellery shows an independent girl who is not interested in marriage proposal. But she agrees to marry just because she looks pretty in jewellery. Also the parents while describing the guy strongly put forward that the guy is settled abroad. Now to our society, a guy settled abroad has become a certificate of eligibility to become a good son-in-law. Why can’t the ad just say that the guy is working in India with a good job, blah… blah…blah? But the sad part is that the ad shows reality.

One more brilliant example of what I am trying to say. 3 Idiots. Watched by millions. Loved by millions. In that movie the actress, Kareena got engaged to a guy who considered her just a utility factor. But what the heck… he was rich. She didn’t love him… still she was very much ready to marry him. Again the utility factor. Now even after the lead actor, Amir Khan explains the actress that marring her fiancĂ©e would be one of the greatest mistake of her life… after many years the actress is again shown getting married to the same guy. Utility factor. We can not pass this as an out of the blue phenomenon showcased only in a movie. This actually happens in real lives. Infact in real life the bride would not have broken off the marriage even after having the realizations. That’s the reasons you see many rich jerks having a beautiful wife on their side. Even in the movie, the geek guy, Chatur Lingam is shown having a very sexy beautiful wife. I doubt that a snob guy like that would become an ideal husband… But then what the heck. And when his wife realizes this fact that in only one lifetime she chose wealth over a caring and loving partner… It would be too late.

By the way… I am not trying to accuse each and every girl of being a gold digger. I do understand that guys also go only for fair and beautiful girls with good income. And I truly acknowledge that even this phenomenon is a curse to the society. But being a guy I took just one aspect of argument. Nothing against girls and their parents. Its just a general theory.

But many will argue that the parents are concerned about the luxury of their daughter and so its fair enough to use her sex appeal and cash cow status to get a rich guy for her. (Cash cow is a marketing term meaning something that is giving high returns and ofcourse a well qualified girl is a cash cow in all sense) This mentality shows one aspect of human nature, which is to associate happiness with materialistic things i.e. money. Also another argument may crop up that people don’t have time to fall in love… so the bank balance parameter is the best parameter to judge a guy. Great. But these are just arguments to cover up the greatest game of utility. People try to find the utility factor in each other. They become the strategist. And as mentioned earlier, strategists can’t love. The concept of marriage being a pairing of two souls has become lost somewhere. Arrange marriages have just become something like buying a pet from a super duper hyper market.

But then why do people dream about getting that true love? Because somewhere deep down their heart, they know that it’s the presence of true love in their life that actually make the difference between spending a normal good life or spending a fantastic loving caring blissful life. Why don’t girls just go for their college sweetheart? Or the guy they really fell in love with. That would actually defy the peanut theory. Yes. The Peanut Theory does not work with respect to True Love. That’s why a true love is comparable to a pilgrimage. A journey where the expectation of ROI (Returns on investment) is negligible. One would surely find atleast few couples around who fell in love without the utility factor in mind and then lived happily ever after. There are many such couples. Coz even today, true love finds its way… It’s just a matter of patience and belief.